You don't know what to do, what to say, who to turn to, or why this is even happening to you. Before you curl up in a ball and lose all hope, grab a notepad and follow my simple rules to finding your equilibrium again!
Step 1. Once you've found a quiet place, with pen and pad in hand, scribble down how you feel word for word in a list format, leaving large spaces in between each addition.
Ex.
1. Angry
2. Hurt
3. Like a fool
etc.
Continue this until you feel every possible emotion in your heart is on the paper.
Step 2. Go back to the top of the list and ask yourself, "What has happened to make me feel this way?" In the spaces you left behind, write in the specific factors that led to each emotion you wrote down.
Step 3. Now that all your emotions are put into writing, put the notepad down and close your eyes and ask yourself, after all those things that you wrote down, do you still want this person in your life? Do you hope to win them back, or do you hope to move on from them? Are they even worth it?
Step 4. Now it's time to move on to the action plan. No one likes someone who feels sorry for themselves all the time, so get up and do something about it. The trick to surviving post-breakup is to understand that no matter what the answer to the last question in step 3 was, your action plan should still be the same.
Step 5. Cut off all communications with your ex. This will be hard, but it is direly important. Hide anything you got from them that is in plain view, delete all their old text messages, and remove photographs from your home, being careful not to spend a moment too long looking at them. Treat these things as you would a simple candy wrapper someone left behind.
Step 6. Burn the notebook. If that's too extreme for you, throw it away with determination that all your past woes die with the pages you put them on.
Step 7. Call up any and all friends and go out and enjoy yourself. Stay away from couples. If your friends are coupled, plan a ladies night only, and, if you're really fragile still, ask them to keep talk of their partners to a minimum for your sanity. Have fun! Go out to eat or to a party and let all your worries melt away. The trick is not to be alone with yourself and not to give yourself time to dwell. If you are alone after a breakup, it is inevitable you will feel sorry for yourself, so be with people you care about and remind yourself that there are more people in this world who love you, regardless of how your ex thinks.
Step 8. Cut your hair. Buy a hot new outfit. Get highlights. Any of these things will signify to yourself and others that you are throwing away the old and welcoming the new. The important thing is to make a change that will make you feel like a new person. A fresh new look will give you a fresh new outlook, and will help bring a disconnect in your mind between the person who was with your ex and the person who you are at this moment.
Step 9. Put yourself out there! Flirt and party and have fun! Doing this will remind you that you are beautiful, and sexy, and desired! Even if you don't feel you are any of these things, it's amazing what a fun night of flirting can do to change that outlook! Be confident! Strut your new look and your new found independence! Remember that your life belongs to you and only you, and only you can be in charge of living it to its fullest capacity.
Step 10. Now comes the part where you get what you want. Remember when you asked yourself whether you wanted to win your ex back or whether you wanted to get over them? After a few weeks of doing these steps (and possibly repeating them!), try and tie up any loose ends with your ex. Be kind and show that you've moved on, and that you are truly sorry for the parts you had in the way the relationship turned. Keep it short and sweet, and offer to them your friendship- then walk away. One of two things will happen. Either,
1: Your ex will see in your again what they fell in love with in the first place- that lust for life, or that giant smile.. And, who knows, maybe this time things will work out.
Or 2: They will be grateful for your heartfelt apology and happy to see you happy. They wont want to give the relationship another go, but it wont matter because you have brought your own happiness back into your own life and will have moved on to bigger and better things. Either way, you can't really lose. :)
Go get 'em, tiger!
Step 1. Once you've found a quiet place, with pen and pad in hand, scribble down how you feel word for word in a list format, leaving large spaces in between each addition.
Ex.
1. Angry
2. Hurt
3. Like a fool
etc.
Continue this until you feel every possible emotion in your heart is on the paper.
Step 2. Go back to the top of the list and ask yourself, "What has happened to make me feel this way?" In the spaces you left behind, write in the specific factors that led to each emotion you wrote down.
Step 3. Now that all your emotions are put into writing, put the notepad down and close your eyes and ask yourself, after all those things that you wrote down, do you still want this person in your life? Do you hope to win them back, or do you hope to move on from them? Are they even worth it?
Step 4. Now it's time to move on to the action plan. No one likes someone who feels sorry for themselves all the time, so get up and do something about it. The trick to surviving post-breakup is to understand that no matter what the answer to the last question in step 3 was, your action plan should still be the same.
Step 5. Cut off all communications with your ex. This will be hard, but it is direly important. Hide anything you got from them that is in plain view, delete all their old text messages, and remove photographs from your home, being careful not to spend a moment too long looking at them. Treat these things as you would a simple candy wrapper someone left behind.
Step 6. Burn the notebook. If that's too extreme for you, throw it away with determination that all your past woes die with the pages you put them on.
Step 7. Call up any and all friends and go out and enjoy yourself. Stay away from couples. If your friends are coupled, plan a ladies night only, and, if you're really fragile still, ask them to keep talk of their partners to a minimum for your sanity. Have fun! Go out to eat or to a party and let all your worries melt away. The trick is not to be alone with yourself and not to give yourself time to dwell. If you are alone after a breakup, it is inevitable you will feel sorry for yourself, so be with people you care about and remind yourself that there are more people in this world who love you, regardless of how your ex thinks.
Step 8. Cut your hair. Buy a hot new outfit. Get highlights. Any of these things will signify to yourself and others that you are throwing away the old and welcoming the new. The important thing is to make a change that will make you feel like a new person. A fresh new look will give you a fresh new outlook, and will help bring a disconnect in your mind between the person who was with your ex and the person who you are at this moment.
Step 9. Put yourself out there! Flirt and party and have fun! Doing this will remind you that you are beautiful, and sexy, and desired! Even if you don't feel you are any of these things, it's amazing what a fun night of flirting can do to change that outlook! Be confident! Strut your new look and your new found independence! Remember that your life belongs to you and only you, and only you can be in charge of living it to its fullest capacity.
Step 10. Now comes the part where you get what you want. Remember when you asked yourself whether you wanted to win your ex back or whether you wanted to get over them? After a few weeks of doing these steps (and possibly repeating them!), try and tie up any loose ends with your ex. Be kind and show that you've moved on, and that you are truly sorry for the parts you had in the way the relationship turned. Keep it short and sweet, and offer to them your friendship- then walk away. One of two things will happen. Either,
1: Your ex will see in your again what they fell in love with in the first place- that lust for life, or that giant smile.. And, who knows, maybe this time things will work out.
Or 2: They will be grateful for your heartfelt apology and happy to see you happy. They wont want to give the relationship another go, but it wont matter because you have brought your own happiness back into your own life and will have moved on to bigger and better things. Either way, you can't really lose. :)
Go get 'em, tiger!
