There are billions of these such associations running through our brain, many of which we aren't even aware of, and all of which are affecting our decision making process in some way. This is not necessarily bad, as in the case of a baby sticking his finger into a light socket. The baby will always associate those sockets with pain and will never do it again. However, it can be negative in the case of a woman who was in an abusive relationship that sabotages all relationships thereafter because she automatically associates men with pain.
Association is part of the way our mind works that teaches us to learn from our experiences, but how can you get this process to work for you?
One simple answer is Code Words. Code words are words that you specifically train your mind to react to, and relate it to feelings and phrases or experiences as a way of self-training.
For instance, I used this method with broccoli, a universally hated food. I never liked it, but knew it was good for me, so I wanted to like it. Now I love it. How did that happen? Did my taste buds change? Not exactly; It still tastes basically the same. What did change were my associations with it, and how I trained my mind to react differently to it. It's a simple process involving nothing more than willpower, and doesn't take long to implement.
To begin, practice with words that you want to train and change your relationship with. I will use my broccoli example. When I used to think of the word broccoli, the first thought that came to my mind was, "Blech!" But I wanted to change that, so I began thinking about broccoli at random and immediately thinking of such things as "vitamins", "feels good", "cute little trees", and "nourishment". Whenever I thought these things, I would relate that all to happiness, and I would be sure to smile when I thought about them. I would imitate all the feel-good feelings, and all the feel-good thoughts at the word and image of broccoli in my mind. Shortly thereafter, it became second nature to think about broccoli and feel these feelings, because through telling my brain so, I had relocated some neuropathways and changed my though patterns on the subject entirely.
Then, it was time to move on to the actual eating of the food. With the broccoli in front of me, I would remember all those wonderful Code Words I trained myself to think of, and how good they all felt. I would gasp at how cute they were and stand them all up to create a tiny forest on my plate. All this was to build a new relationship with the food in my mind. Sounds silly, yes, but it works. When I would eat a piece, my mind would automatically think, "Yummm!!", without my tongue having time to object. I would tell my my mind that it was good, pretend that it was good, and that made it good. My tongue didn't have a say in the matter, and in a very short time I began to like the taste of broccoli because it made me feel good. And it only made me feel good because I used the code words in my brain and brain association to my advantage.
Another area this process can be useful in is if you have situational reactions. For instance, the woman I spoke of earlier who was in an abusive relationship, and now associates all men with the bad one from her past, could use code words and brain association to heal her ailment. It is harder the stronger the reaction is, but also more necessary to overcome. It would take a while, but she could begin to associate men with a hero in a movie, or kind sweet souls she has met throughout her life, and tell her mind that they are the example that it will now follow instead of the one bad egg. It would be much more difficult than my broccoli, but still manageable. Every new relationship she went into, she could scratch out the memory of the bad one as soon as it comes up by replacing it with a kind lover from a movie she saw, and eventually she would heal the cycle altogether.
By replacing the thought as soon as it arises with one you would rather associate it with, you relocate pathways in you brain to make yourself think the way you want to think, and, in this way, you can have control over your entire emotional database and begin to change the very makeup of your brain to how you wish it to be.
Happy Seeking
Jekka
