That's right, you do, and I'll tell you why.
What happens after a long, hard day? You feel tired, right? You head home, and by the time you get there, you probably could do more, but you really don't feel like it. The couch looks much more inviting than the sink does, I know. So, you head for the couch, and you sit there. You watch some TV, maybe make some dinner if you find the energy, and you think. What is it you think about?
The dishes. They need to be put away. That's what you think about.
But, there you sit, and you talk yourself out of it, all the while those dishes are still in the back of your mind. They aren't really in the sink; They are in your head, and they are draining what little energy you have left even without you doing anything. You try to ignore them, and you try to relax, but you really aren't relaxing at all, and you certainly aren't happy.
So, when does relaxation and happiness happen?
Relaxation and happiness happen when everything is cleared. There are no obligations that need to be attended, there are no chores that need doing, because they've been done. There is no leftover work, and you are truly just there to relax and enjoy your moments of uninterrupted peace, with no nagging brain talk in the back of your mind.
What sounds better, a clear to do list, or trying to relax on the couch while thinking about dishes all night?
Although it all sounds good in theory, we would still like to sit on the couch and pretend the dishes don't exist. It still somehow seems more beneficial to wait until the very last minute to take care of them, as if, somehow, there will be less work that way. If that were true, no one would ever count procrastination as a fault, but that's exactly what it is.
How do we fix it? How can we get out of this mad cycle of torturing ourselves and stressing out our bodies by putting obligations off?
Problem: I hate doing this.
One of the most important things to change if we want to get rid of the pesky habit of procrastination forever is to change the way we speak about things- out loud, or in our head. Why do YOU want to get up and do those dishes? Because they are staring at you, that's why. They are on your mind, and you know they need to be done. Do you really think you are ever going to be able to relax when there are still a million things on your mind? You may ignore those dishes, and let them pile up, but they will still be there, gnawing away at the back of your head, stealing those precious moments away from you that you think you are spending in peace. How can you change this? Rethink and reword what needs to be done. You normally think:
"I hate doing the dishes, but it's something that has to be done, so I suffer through it."
This is focusing on the chore itself, and how much you hate it. How are you ever going to convince yourself to get off the couch and do something you hate? Not going to happen, and that's why you need to change the mind-talk about the situation. Try rephrasing it in your mind to something along the lines of:
"I LIKE doing the dishes because I feel accomplished after they are done. With them out of the way, I can truly relax and enjoy myself."
This statement focuses on the good that comes out of the work, instead of the tedium of doing it. It's empowering and motivating, while the first sentence is limiting and miserable, yet they are both talking about the same thing. By focusing on what's positive about a task, and ignoring the negative in your mind, a chore can be done efficiently and effectively, and when relaxation finally arrives, it will happen later, but will be entirely more meaningful.
Problem: It's not really that important, anyway.
If it wasn't important, it wouldn't be on your mind. It needs to be done, it wants to be done, you want it to be done, and you want to do it, because it feels good to have it behind you instead of in front of you. It's important because it's important to your happiness and your well-being. It's important because it it one less stressor on your back.
Problem: I'll do it later.
My mother always told me when I was young (although I rarely listened to her, and are only these days seeing the wisdom of), to do my homework and chores first thing when I got home from school. She said that if I did it first thing, I could get it all out of the way, and for the rest of the day, I could go outside and play without having to worry about the things that still had to be done. Of course, as a child, I decided the best way would be to play first, then get those things out of the way later. Should have listened to mom. At the end of the day, like clockwork, I was overcome with stress, rushing through my homework, doing everything half-way, and barely finishing my chores in time to crash into bed completely wiped out. Why did I do that to myself? Simple, pushing things til the last minute made me feel like I could relax and enjoy myself, even though I never really could because those things were always on my mind. When crunch time came, my homework suffered because I waited until the last minute. The stress of rushing through things with a limited amount of time left me exhausted and overcome. The lesson in this? You really should eat your vegetables before you head for dessert, because the taste of the dessert is the one that you want to linger in your mouth.
By re-wording your mind-talk, reminding yourself of the good feelings to come after a task is completed, and doing tasks first and foremost in order to enjoy more rewarding things later and more fully, you truly can kill the procrastination demon forever, and be so much happier while doing it.
Do it, get it over with, be done, and as always,
Happy Seeking,
Jekka
Jekka
